Rambling Soul: July 2010

Friday, July 30, 2010

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.

Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

2012, an easy target for critics

I finally got around to watching 2012 the other day. I've heard mixed reviews for this movie, and I think a lot of folks gave it a pretty unfair rap. Critics these days like to analyze the finer aspects of film. Needless to say, this movie was a very easy target for them. What critics don't like to do is just sit back and enjoy a movie. The plot refers back to an ancient Mayan "prophecy" warning of the end of the world (or "Time", as the Mayans would have put it) in December of 2012. The film ATTEMPTS (Note this word, as this is the only thing a writer can do with this type of plot) to portray this idea from a scientific standpoint. Needless to say, the science was bullshit, but who was expecting the 2012 idea to make sense anyway? Some folks, it seems. 2012 was the standard Roland Emerich film, so if you've seen The Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day, then you definitely knew what to expect. These movies are always well-funded, end-of-the-world scenarios portraying one man's vision of humanity's reaction to its inevitable destruction. If you're like me, you went into this movie expecting to see AWESOME scenes of death and obliteration (California sinking into the Pacific, massive tsunamis, hilariously undersized Yellowstone eruption, buildings collapsing, main characters so-narrowly avoiding horrific death on far too many occasions and the like...), and you finished the movie satisfied as hell. I wasn't looking for plot structure and realism, though there was some semblance of character-driven drama which was just as touching/cheesy (depending on how you like your apocalypse movies) as in any other Emerich film. I wasn't expecting people to actually survive at the end, or the somewhat pro-Africa message that was too much like the ending to Day After Tomorrow, but it was a minor annoyance at best.

As an long-time Emerich fan, I liked it. And Independence Day is still one of my favorite movies ever. This movie didn't come close to that mark (nobody will ever beat the "welcome to Earth" scene), but the depictions of world-ending carnage were totally sweet, probably the best I've seen so far. I'll conclude that the movie was awesome, but if you're planning on watching it and want to take it too seriously, then don't.

WIN

Uber-zing

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

``Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.''

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Feeling Poor, Sad, and Unfortunate... Read This

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Shit, How Many Does One Need?

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

You got style?

Well, whose style you got? Check out this site to find out. I pasted a page from my book and it told me I write like Stephen King. I've never read Stephen King. My 1000 hits post was penned in the style of H.P. Lovecraft. My Alice Goodwin Sonnet reflects Mary Shelley. I don't read any of these folks, but then, I don't try to emulate any authors, so everything is up to chance, I suppose. Could be bullshit... You be the judge.

The epitome of style

Sunday, July 18, 2010

ET: the horror

Thursday, July 15, 2010

M. Night Shyamalan: The Squandering

Shyamalan's career faces the guillotine as The Last Airbender marks his first negative rating on RottenTomatoes. Considering it's abysmal reputation, I'm damned surprised at how much money it's making. Toy Story 3 ranks just above it, with a 91% difference. Goes to show you that people are still willing to pay to see a terrible movie.

Don't need Conservatives

"A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal as opposed to the conservative, who has both feet firmly planted in his mouth."
- Jacques Barzun

"A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal."
- Frank Dane

"A conservative believes nothing should be done for the first time."
- Thomas Fuller

"A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run."
- Elbert Hubbard

"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead."
- Leo Rosten

"What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried against the new and untried?"
- Abraham Lincoln

"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."
- John Stuart Mill

via YahooAnswers

Green Lantern fan-made trailer

I totally wish this was the trailer for the Green Lantern movie. Nathan Fillion as Hal Jordan is just too good to be true, I guess.

Will Ferrell kills Por ti Volare

I learned today that Will Ferrell actually sung this part. The man is fucking talented.

Star Wars Express

More excellent editing via Youtube.

Ke$ha Back to the Future edition

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Glenn Beck meltdown

What a character.

via Cracked.com

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! SHIIIIIIITTT!!!!!???? 1000

1000 HITS

To the faithful viewers:

Friends, comrades, compatriots; The moment is upon us. Rejoice, for we are victorious. The paltry remnants of our fallen foe lies scattered and broken before us, and a new light graces our once barren path. Let those who once doubted us know this: the Rambling Soul of the Internet cannot be silenced. We have met our goals with the flying colours of utter success, righteously delivering a flying Spartan kick upon its face to leave it broken, bleeding, begging for mercy, writhing on the very ground that it may once have considered its own. Let it be known that the Rambling Soul has breached the 1000 mark. Let it be known that we will continue to progress, and will continue to spread the joy of the internet to its thriving masses. Let it be known that fortune smiles upon us, and will continue to do so lest we should wither and die in a conflagration of epic glory; for even in death, we've got style. There can be no doubt.

1000 hits is kind of a big of a deal.
--Scotty Bartlett-->