Not Bad

Nature by Numbers from Jeff DeMeglio on Vimeo.

Ever Want to Build a Working Nuclear Bomb?

Step 1: Dedicate your entire life to mining and purifying extremely rare
Uranium 235/Uranium 239

Next take a look at this Website

In Living Memory of the G-man

R.I.P.

Always knew there was a pro league for this

Why You Don't Employ Women.

Leave that Motherfucker Wide Open!

Hydroponic... I'm Not Looking for a Sound System!

What a life

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

The hands featured in every ad featuring only hands. That's the only time they do anything.

What rhymes with orange?

This drummer should be in every band

The most awkward ambush ever

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Kick like a ninja, fall like a stone

The ninja FAIL series

via Asylum

1000 years of battle

Unbreakable

As good as walls

People Watching Plus from Rune Madsen on Vimeo.

Sheepish

Mercs

Regardless of your feelings towards Blackwater, this is a pretty fascinating video.

Kackel Dackel

This is how we educate children about the dangers of E. Coli.

"...A little too much magnesium, I guess..."

Sit back, enjoy the soothing sounds of dueling banjos, and prepare to be shocked.

Flying snakes. We're all fucked.

This one is also real; check it out.

Cause it's dangerous.

Is this legit?

Yeah it is. I just tried it.

Welcome to December

Mediaopoly

Conspiracy Theory Rock

Mike | Myspace Video
This was aired in 1998 and was banned from reruns and DVD releases. Can you guess why?

In seconds

The real Bat man

The next intelligent species

Hermit crab ass

The dog that defined badassery

Read of Sgt. Stubby's exploits here until I have time to post a summary.

Can I buy this?

When the hell did this stop being a good idea?

More lifehacks

They're smoking weed over there!

To answer your question...this big.

creds

Chain react

The Rent is Too Damn High.

You heard it from a karate expert.

via YoBrahsh!

Batman

Instrumentals

K'nex just went extinct

walk-on weather man

Spider pick-ups

Gotta try this

Now I need some sodium acetate. What is that?

This is fucking awesome.

A most gentlemanly gesture

We're sorry.

Save some water, pee in the shower.

Pee During Shower (english subtitles) from Fernandosanches.net on Vimeo.

fucked up

Say Wha...?

Sexuality asserts itself in the human mind by releasing neurochemicals comparable to addictive drugs into the brain.

Summer Picks

Work

The Universe's most vital information

Keep it handy folks.


Good looks, funlol

Soccer

It kills braincells.

The green dragon

Print this out, assemble as necessary, put the dragon on display somewhere, and live out the rest of your days in fear.

To all "birthers"

Do a google.image search for "Obama's birth certificate." And shut the fuck up.

It's good!

Poe, bitches!

Lot o' cats got that name...

All the kids are doing it these days.

Die, sinner.

You Don't Know JACK

The solution to all life's problems

You're gonna love monsoon season

Cool.

It's easy to forget that there are sights like this in the world

Holy Shit!?!

Get high and watch this, NOW!

Great comedian quotes

Great quotes by comedians


"If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the
video camera and come help me."
  --Bobcat Goldthwait

"I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout.  That's
where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my
sister's house and ask her for money."
  --Kevin Meaney

"My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake
and threw her off the boat. That's how she learned how to swim. I said,
'Mom, they weren't trying to teach you how to swim.' "
  --Paula Poundstone

"In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic?  Do tall
people burn slower?"
  --Warren Hutcherson

"I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the
locks, they are always locking three."
  --Elayne Boosler

"Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?"
  --John Mendoza

"Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a  second."
--Steven Wright

"Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat
it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they
should give you two weeks' notice. There should beseverance pay, and
before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp."
  --Bob Ettinger

"A study in the Washington Post says that women have better verbal skills
than men. I just want to say to the authors of that study: Duh."
  --Conan O'Brien

"I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the
pumpkin."
  --Winston Spear

"Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's
how dogs spend their lives."
  --Sue Murphy

"My grandfather's a little forgetful, but he likes to give me advice. One
day, he took me aside and left me there."
  --Ron Richards

"I worry that the person who thought up Muzak may be thinking up
something else."
  --Lily Tomlin

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four
people make up 75 percent of the population."
 --David Letterman

"Chihuahua. There's a waste of dog food. Looks like a dog that is  still
far away."
 --Billiam Coronell

"I was a vegetarian until I started leaning towards sunlight."
  --Rita Rudner

"I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific."
  --Lily Tomlin

"The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war.
Pretty impressive.  Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little
Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there.
Corkscrews. Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me,
the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe
clippers right here.'"
  --Jerry Seinfeld

"I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed
it."
  --Steven Wright

"I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them
above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' "
  --Bruce Baum

"I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't
know, her hair was on fire, and all she talked about was herself. You
know these kind of girls: 'I'm hot. I'm on fire. Me, me, me.' You know.
'Help me, put me out.' Come on, could we talk about me just a little
bit?"
  --Garry Shandling

"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York
said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't
cold enough. Let's go west.'"
  --Richard Jeni

"Sometimes I think war is God's way of teaching us geography."
  --Paul Rodriguez

"Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my
fishburger and I realize, Oh my God....I could be eating a slow learner."
  --Lynda Montgomery

To all child-owners

Get a pet.

The Book of Lucifer: Some Evidence of the New Satanic Age

It begins by suggesting that the Seven Deadly Sins are in fact all instinctual to human nature and not sinful at all. It states that they are all unavoidable urges of mankind, carefully selected by Christianity to ensure that all men will inevitably sin, as no one can avoid engaging in these instinctive urges. LaVey submits that this is a device to guarantee that humans within the Christian religious framework will surely sin and have no choice but to beg God for forgiveness; therefore, dependence upon the Church is assured. Instead, LaVey states that as all of these so-called sins are natural to humans, they should be embraced and even considered virtuous.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Satanic_Bible

Uneatable

Someone wasted a pizza and a taco. Whathefuh...

That's Not Good.

This Shit Is Still Bleeding!

Longest Palindrome Ever...

Arg! A I.V.? No! Do I? Did... (ahem...) Did I nail Edna? Edna, Lala, Tina, Ardis, Marva, Adela, Diane, Lynne, Pearl, Ora, Cecile, Fanny, Laverne, Eliadia, Rasia, Mary, Meta, Kassia, Radella, Anne, Norah, Sela, Gaia, Mable, Mina, Rae, Barba, Mairi, Manon, Nell, Essa, Lee, Lass, Ellen, Nona, Miriam, Abra, Bea, Rani, Melba, Maia, Gale, Sharon, Enna, Alleda, Raissa, Kate, Myra, Mai, Saraid, Aileen, Reva, Lynna, Felice, Carol, Rae, Penny, Lena, Ida, Leda, Avram, Sidra, Anita Lalande, and Elian? I did? Me?... Ha!... Did I O.D. on Viagra?

Best cry ever; autotuned

See the original on Yobrahsh!. New genre of music on the horizon. "Stylistic weeping."

Respect this man.

Cmdr. Kruge

Press

Eat Icecream, burn calories

As we all know, it takes 1 calorie to heat 1 gram of water 1 degree centigrade. Translated into meaningful terms, this means that if you eat a very cold dessert (generally consisting of water in large part), the natural processes which raise the consumed dessert to body temperature during the digestive cycle literally sucks the calories out of the only available source, your body fat.

For example, a dessert served and eaten at near 0 degrees C (32.2 deg. F) will in a short time be raised to the normal body temperature of 37 degrees C (98.6 deg. F). For each gram of dessert eaten, that process takes approximately 37 calories as stated above. The average dessert portion is 6 oz, or 168 grams. Therefore, by operation of thermodynamic law, 6,216 calories (1 cal./gm/deg. x 37 deg. x 168 gms) are extracted from body fat as the dessert's temperature is normalized. Allowing for the 1,200 latent calories in the dessert, the net calorie loss is approximately 5,000 calories.

Obviously, the more cold dessert you eat,the better off you are and the faster you will lose weight, if that is your goal. This process works equally well when drinking very cold beer in frosted glasses. Each ounce of beer contains 16 latent calories, but extracts 1,036 calories (6,216 cal. per 6 oz. portion) in the temperature normalizing process. Thus the net calorie loss per ounce of beer is 1,020 calories. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to calculate that 12,240 calories (12 oz. x 1,020 cal./oz.) are extracted from the body in the process of drinking a can of beer.

Frozen desserts, e.g., ice cream, are even more beneficial, since it takes 83 cal./gm to melt them (i.e., raise them to 0 deg. C) and an additional 37 cal./gm to further raise them to body temperature. The results here are really remarkable, and it beats running hands down.

Unfortunately, for those who eat pizza as an excuse to drink beer, pizza (loaded with latent calories and served above body temperature) induces an opposite effect. But, thankfully, as the astute reader should have already reasoned, the obvious solution is to drink a lot of beer with pizza and follow up immediately with large bowls of ice cream.We could all be thin if we were to adhere religiously to a pizza, beer, and ice cream diet.

Happy eating!

2012, an easy target for critics

I finally got around to watching 2012 the other day. I've heard mixed reviews for this movie, and I think a lot of folks gave it a pretty unfair rap. Critics these days like to analyze the finer aspects of film. Needless to say, this movie was a very easy target for them. What critics don't like to do is just sit back and enjoy a movie. The plot refers back to an ancient Mayan "prophecy" warning of the end of the world (or "Time", as the Mayans would have put it) in December of 2012. The film ATTEMPTS (Note this word, as this is the only thing a writer can do with this type of plot) to portray this idea from a scientific standpoint. Needless to say, the science was bullshit, but who was expecting the 2012 idea to make sense anyway? Some folks, it seems. 2012 was the standard Roland Emerich film, so if you've seen The Day After Tomorrow or Independence Day, then you definitely knew what to expect. These movies are always well-funded, end-of-the-world scenarios portraying one man's vision of humanity's reaction to its inevitable destruction. If you're like me, you went into this movie expecting to see AWESOME scenes of death and obliteration (California sinking into the Pacific, massive tsunamis, hilariously undersized Yellowstone eruption, buildings collapsing, main characters so-narrowly avoiding horrific death on far too many occasions and the like...), and you finished the movie satisfied as hell. I wasn't looking for plot structure and realism, though there was some semblance of character-driven drama which was just as touching/cheesy (depending on how you like your apocalypse movies) as in any other Emerich film. I wasn't expecting people to actually survive at the end, or the somewhat pro-Africa message that was too much like the ending to Day After Tomorrow, but it was a minor annoyance at best.

As an long-time Emerich fan, I liked it. And Independence Day is still one of my favorite movies ever. This movie didn't come close to that mark (nobody will ever beat the "welcome to Earth" scene), but the depictions of world-ending carnage were totally sweet, probably the best I've seen so far. I'll conclude that the movie was awesome, but if you're planning on watching it and want to take it too seriously, then don't.

WIN

Uber-zing

Here is a true story someone found regarding exams at Cambridge University. It seems that during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:

Proctor: I beg your pardon?

Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

Proctor: Sorry, no.

Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.

At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (rough translation from the Latin):

``Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale.''

Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.

Three weeks later the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

Feeling Poor, Sad, and Unfortunate... Read This

Shit, How Many Does One Need?

You got style?

Well, whose style you got? Check out this site to find out. I pasted a page from my book and it told me I write like Stephen King. I've never read Stephen King. My 1000 hits post was penned in the style of H.P. Lovecraft. My Alice Goodwin Sonnet reflects Mary Shelley. I don't read any of these folks, but then, I don't try to emulate any authors, so everything is up to chance, I suppose. Could be bullshit... You be the judge.

The epitome of style

ET: the horror

M. Night Shyamalan: The Squandering

Shyamalan's career faces the guillotine as The Last Airbender marks his first negative rating on RottenTomatoes. Considering it's abysmal reputation, I'm damned surprised at how much money it's making. Toy Story 3 ranks just above it, with a 91% difference. Goes to show you that people are still willing to pay to see a terrible movie.

Don't need Conservatives

"A man who has both feet planted firmly in the air can be safely called a liberal as opposed to the conservative, who has both feet firmly planted in his mouth."
- Jacques Barzun

"A conservative is a fellow who thinks a rich man should have a square deal."
- Frank Dane

"A conservative believes nothing should be done for the first time."
- Thomas Fuller

"A conservative is a man who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run."
- Elbert Hubbard

"A conservative is one who admires radicals centuries after they're dead."
- Leo Rosten

"What is conservatism? Is it not the adherence to the old and tried against the new and untried?"
- Abraham Lincoln

"Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives."
- John Stuart Mill

via YahooAnswers

Green Lantern fan-made trailer

I totally wish this was the trailer for the Green Lantern movie. Nathan Fillion as Hal Jordan is just too good to be true, I guess.

Will Ferrell kills Por ti Volare

I learned today that Will Ferrell actually sung this part. The man is fucking talented.

Star Wars Express

More excellent editing via Youtube.

Ke$ha Back to the Future edition

Glenn Beck meltdown

What a character.

via Cracked.com

AAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! SHIIIIIIITTT!!!!!???? 1000

1000 HITS

To the faithful viewers:

Friends, comrades, compatriots; The moment is upon us. Rejoice, for we are victorious. The paltry remnants of our fallen foe lies scattered and broken before us, and a new light graces our once barren path. Let those who once doubted us know this: the Rambling Soul of the Internet cannot be silenced. We have met our goals with the flying colours of utter success, righteously delivering a flying Spartan kick upon its face to leave it broken, bleeding, begging for mercy, writhing on the very ground that it may once have considered its own. Let it be known that the Rambling Soul has breached the 1000 mark. Let it be known that we will continue to progress, and will continue to spread the joy of the internet to its thriving masses. Let it be known that fortune smiles upon us, and will continue to do so lest we should wither and die in a conflagration of epic glory; for even in death, we've got style. There can be no doubt.

1000 hits is kind of a big of a deal.
--Scotty Bartlett-->

Letter to Bungie

Dear Bungie,
Please include this in the next Halo game.

A long-time fan,
Scotty Bartlett

Yep.

Immortal dog

Immortal Dog from The Midnight Show

Now that's advertising.

Holy Jesus

Don't just stand there! FUCKING RUN!!

Too Damn True

ScottyB: LET IT BE KNOWN THAT RAMBLING SOUL IS IN NO WAY RELIGIOUSLY BIASED.

A dangerous undertaking

Damn Straight